This was one hell of a week, with all the windmill erection problems in our operations management case study, and the ill-fitted cockpit problems in the Boeing assembly line and all that. Believe me, people at our age should not be facing such vexing problems. As our Strategic Human Resources Management Prof is wont to say, we have more than 600 years of combined experience in our class and most of us have done similar things before, without any problems whatsoever and that too, on countless number of occasions. But still, when it mattered the most we were just not able to stand up and be counted. What can I say? Performance anxiety may be.
We went long and deep looking for causes, but things didn’t become clearer till we got our Management Communication assignment graded. And it was no coincidence that most of us scored much lower than what we expected. The writing was on the wall. We all desperately needed to get some hands-on training to improve our abilities in the area of management communications.
I had earlier itself earmarked this as a very important focus area for my life as a future senior manager and I decided to put some serious remedial work into this over the week-end. As I could see, the only way to lift up my sagging spirits was to rewrite my assignment all over again. To put things in context, here is what I had to do:
http://www.businesscommunication.org/publications/bcq/cases/Rocky_Mountain.pdf
And here is how I am going to prove my business communication and persuasion skills to persuade Zach on blog, about the benefits of exercising so that he won’t close the company fitness center down.
Even if you are a little weak in the heart, you are advised to skip this sample of pure unadulterated persuasion power at work. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you. Anyways, here it is:
Hey Zach,
What’s shaking big guy?
I am shooting this mail as I just couldn’t believe my ears when I heard all the hare-brain ideas that you are throwing up these days. What the hell is wrong with you buddy? Have you gone bonkers??? Out of your mind??? Then??? I know you may be VP, operations and all that, but looks to me like you are just mucking things up over there.
People may think that you are all likeable, smart, creative, and all that, but closing down a fitness center in the name of profits? That is just plain ridiculous dude, not to mention downright menial and petty. Have you ever heard of the WOW best practice of Operations Management– “Don’t fix it, if it ain’t broken; just say your WOWs and move on.” Come on, think about it. How hard can that be?
What do you mean, you find exercise a bore and a waste of time? I think you are just plain lazy to get off your over-sized posterior (technical language used to preserve official memo flavor) and trying to pass it off as routine 18-hour work days. You need to get a life my friend and I am telling you, you ain’t getting any slimmer either. When was the last time you stood up on a weighing machine? I mean, without using any props?
Before you get all worked up and shoot the messenger, let me tell you that you are getting me all wrong here. Now if you let me, I do have some persuasive arguments that will convince you of the kind of dubious brain waves that you are trying to sell off here as operational improvement initiatives. I know you have a fetish for numbers and stuff and that is precisely why I thought I will hit you up with some good ones. Here, take a load of this!!!
In a controlled study conducted by me personally, I could find that the 10 percent of our employees who used our company gym three times a week or more were exercising at least 50% more than the 25 percent of those who used the gym only twice a week. See…, are you happy now? Do you see what I am talking about? Seriously man, I am not making all this up. Why would I even do something like that? Let me tell you, the statistical evidence on this case is pretty compelling.
And I haven’t even started yet. There are numerous scientific research references published on the web, that I want to run by you; like this surgeon general’s warning about the risks of not getting enough exercise.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28382
What do you make of that, big fellow? Aren’t things starting to get a little clearer?
And don’t even get me started on absenteeism and sick days and stuff like that. For starters, will you believe me if I said that among the employees who visit our fitness center regularly, the number of sick days has dropped by 5 percent and absenteeism by more than 50% percent. Sweeeet, don’t you think? But to be fair, this is also because, some of our ‘sick’ guys, who earlier used to shirk work regularly, have now started showing up at the gym regularly, to do some old fashioned ogling, if you know what I mean. But then again how can you blame them? Have you checked out the gym lately?
Anyways, let me rest my case by re-iterating that I don’t want to hear any of your silly arguments anymore. I say, get your sorry ‘posterior’ over to the gym at the earliest and I will show you what I am talking about.
Adios,
Joe Mirola.
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4 comments:
As usual, although the FRA end term looms near, I just had to read your blog. It brought back the smiles that disappear when the B/S and P/L statements ain't matching and you begin to wonder why on earth couldn't Mr. Antoine have run off with Mrs. Landers after the books had been balanced.
hurray!
Biju I suggest you revise your gym schedules from 3 days a week to a day week. That way you would contribute much more in letting the entire class exercise, the facial muscles to begin with :)
forgot to mention. you hit the point straight, huh?
shaking the big guy! interesting opening. try this in your next assignment may be with some erin brokovich overtones...or talk somthing in the lines of zach's womanising habits. chances are you would hit an A, atleast
;)
now, i'd try to critique it as part of the second assignment - LOL
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